810 calories. More then double my goal. Ugghh blegghh meehh. Wella gave me a scale that calculates body fat percentage and its pretty accurate. I don't know if she realizes how bad that was mwahahaha I love it! :D

ED has me in a chokehold..

I think I'm doing ok today. I think she caught me though, I think she saw the full napkin..she saw me drink the green tea and she told me it suppresses my appetite which I of course knew but she saw that I drank it anyway. Oh well I'd rather her see that then hear me purge. My goal is to stay under 400 calories today.

I ate 1900 calories yesterday!!!!! :'( *sobbing hysterically* not a single crumb will enter my mouth for the next 24 hours!

Inside my head during a binge

<p>Had a pretty good day yesterday until around 8 when a special friend turned around and exploded on me out of nowhere. I started eating..it wasn't like <i>"she made me upset so I'm going to eat" </i>it was more like </p>
<p><i>"oh French toast..yumm mmm yeah I'm so glad I'm eating this so sweet and delicious..what else is in the fridge mmm cheese I can't eat cheese but I can't eat white bread either so I might as well. Mmm gigantic corn muffin I already had 1/2 earlier..I know the whole thing is 520 calories altogether and ugh its corn. They feed that to the cows and chickens to fattening them up. Oh well guess I'll just do it now I already broke 2 rules might as well end with a bang."</i> </p>
<p>All while making a program call..I don't think I was listening..</p>
<p>Actually it started with a bowl of cherrios but if I would have just stopped then I would have been fine because I didn't have breakfast so it was ok. I don't know what stopped me but I  got on an EDA meeting and got to bed at around 1am</p>

<p>This morning I was graciously awoken by my dearest grandmother making hot chocolate she woke up my poor sister too but of course she was all over that hot chocolate. I was so pissed because I know that at 5:30am I'm between sleep cycles and I won't go back to sleep. I put on Pandora on my Celtic Woman station but obvs I'm still awake. Err what a lovely start to a wonderful day</p>

Somewhere in the middle

I don't want to purge but I can't have that food in me. So I just won't eat anything until I get my hands on some healthy food. *sigh* My ED loves it but I really, really do hate being hungry

Asking the wrong questions in the wrong place at the wrong time.

You're just wrong wrong wrong. You are an idiot. How dare you go into a recovery chat and ask that. Were you trying to be an ass?? Buh-cause seriously you don't even need to try. You are so stupid. What is wrong with you you big fat dummy? I hate you.