I went all day with out counting calories and purging! I ate like a normal person from 9am-7:30pm with out thinking/planning/ obsessing about food. I didnt weigh or measure anything, I didn't cut anything in half I ate 4 moderate complete balanced meals and didnt engage ED at all! Ok I know I'm beating a dead horse but I'm happy. Tomorrow I'm not going to count calories again. Just for tomorrow, just one day. I don't want to not allow myself to purge because when I do that I feel the urge to rebel. So no counting calories, purging is still an option if I need it but if I'm not obsessing about calories I won't feel the need to purge. (hopefully. that's what happened today at least)
Thank you so much Audrey for being such a big cheerleader for me :D otherwise I'd be guilt tripping myself for entering calories at the ending of the day or panicing over how fat I'm going to get because I had 1600 calories today or how I'm not committed enough because I won't let go of purging and quick cold turkey..
Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited to embrace it. I'm ready for more success and pride and self-love and care. I'm going to the gym in the morning and I'm going to spend the afternoon/night at my aunt's house and we're gonna have some heart to heart girl time. I'm really excited. Wow. Definitely a new person today. ((huggss)) for me!
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